When I'm Gone
by TarzanGirl20
Summary: People don't want us together. They think we are too young; that we don't know what it's like to be in love. Bella POV , a romance that was never meant to be...or was it?
1. Chapter 1

Prologue:

"Of course I will still love you when I come back. I will love you when I am gone."

It's not fair. I know that it's not fair, but I want it to be. We have been dating for a little over eleven months now. You would think that people would accept us for who we are, for what we are as a couple. But it is hard. People don't want us together. They think we are too young; that we don't know what it's like to be in love.

Maybe they are right. What do we know about being in love? I sit and I cry. My heart aches when we can't be together, and it feels like we can't be together a lot. I clutch at the searing hole at night. I gasp for air, it hurts so bad. It's like my whole body is numb, and the only pain I feel is from my heart crumbling. He held me together. The fates seemed to be against me, against us. But maybe I am over analyzing things. He says I tend to do that a lot. He says I just throw myself into despair before I do see the "silver lining."

It's not fair. They said we are too young. Are we too young since we are merely 18? Well, in a general sense. Legally we are adults. We grew together emotionally, and we grew to adulthood together. We've always said that if we were older, we'd get married, but what kind of marriage would it be if I am in despair right now? Would it be a happy marriage, or would I be crying as I am now?

I guess I should start at the beginning of the story.


	2. Chapter 2

It was my senior year at Forks high school. It was supposed to be easy. It was supposed to be fun. I was having the time of my life. I even joined the school cross country team. We had summer practices, and now that since school started, I was ahead of the game. I thought I had gotten better on my feet, but I was sadly mistaken. One day during practice, I broke my foot. "It is a stress fracture in the metatarsal," the doctors say. "It happens when you work out too hard." Of course this had to happen to me. I trip a little bit, and I end up breaking something.

At first, I denied my injury. It took me five days to actually go to the emergency room and get it x-rayed. I refused at first because I wanted to be stronger. And I also wanted to break my injury streak. When I got my splint, it was no big deal. People asked me what was wrong with me, and I said I broke my foot. Amazingly, I made a mass amount of friends. They took care of me; they helped me across the school campus. I was having a great time.

Being naïve, I tried flirting a lot. I wasn't aware that I was flirting. It's just something that I do. I also was not aware that boys liked me. I only thought that they helped me carry my books and opened doors for me, and escorted me to class because I was a temporary cripple. Who knew. But the funny thing was that I liked a lot of them. I like nice boys, and a lot of them were nice. However, the one I wanted didn't notice me. He was always so cold, his topaz eyes revealed nothing when I sat next to him in class.

Homecoming was coming up. My senior homecoming; my last one. We were trying to find dates for everyone. I wanted my best friend to have anyone she wanted, the best. I suggest him. It was my fault. I put the idea in her head. But I liked him too; he was so perfect, so beautiful. He was Edward Cullen.

I did try at first. I tried hard to set them up. We tried to make him ask her to the dance, but he insisted he didn't want to go. He played football. I wanted him to give her jersey to her for the homecoming game. I called him, he knew it was me. I got him to agree to bring the jersey, but I didn't say that it was not for me.

He came, and I went. He got mad, and so did she. But eventually I did get them to go with each other. I was very happy for her.

It was the day of the dance and we were all together for pictures. It was fun. I just got my cast off the day before. I had a cast shoe, but at least it was not the big bulky cast, so I could pretend to be a little graceful. Also, I was homecoming queen. Yeah, people pitied me enough to vote for me. Or I happened to befriend everyone in every clique. Their mass just seemed to equal more than the popular group. Plus this tiny school had very few people.

He came to pick her up. It was cute, a white Ford Mustang. As he stepped out of the car, we all noticed him. His pale complexion in contrast to the midnight blue button down shirt, and charcoal colored slacks. He was like from a movie. He also brought her flowers. I was dateless, but anything that I can do for a friend was nice. I didn't notice that he was not in a good mood, except his eyes were piercingly black. He didn't talk to me much; I thought that that was how he was all the time. Edward seemed to stay away from me at all times.

Dinner was nice, our friend's dad was the manager of Chile's, so each of us paid a total of five dollars for dinner. Good eats. The car ride back was another situation. My friend rode with him, but I guess he told her everything that was going on. He told her that he liked me. I was shocked. He always seemed like he hated me. In class, he would sit as far away from me as possible. That put me in a bad position.

I kind of apologized to him at the dance. "I'm sorry for everything. I didn't mean to cause trouble. I just wanted everything to be happy. Do you forgive me? Do you promise? Ok, good. I'll make it up to you later. Bye!" And then I scurried away. He kind of accepted for the time, but not really. I remember his slightly crooked smile. It wasn't completely genuine, but I melted in his presence. I didn't explain why I did that to him.

Some days passed. My friend had no connections with him much anymore; just the dance. The most ironic thing happened. I went to get my hair trimmed and his mom was there. She said hi to me, but I could not think of who it was. He never introduced me. She never talked to me before. I had to think. Who did she look like? Did her kid look like her? Yes. The same perfect skin, the beautiful topaz eyes, just the radiance.

I told my hairdresser about her. How I liked her son, but how I set him up with my best friend. She nodded, it seems to have happened to her before. I didn't know what to do. When I was finished, I went and said hi. She said that he was still mad at me, and that I should apologize and explain myself. I half-heartedly agreed. I did not want to rush into any decision that might cause more trouble. But little did I know, trouble and pain will find me.


	3. Chapter 3

When all was said and done, I waited for later that evening to call him. Esme, his mother, gave me his cell number. I explained everything to him, and everything seemed ok again, except for the fact that my friend still had some feelings for him.

I might be a little selfish, or conceited, but I could not see why she liked him, beside the obvious. She barely talked to him before the dance, and if it wasn't for me, she would not have had him as a date. I mused to myself that she only liked him because he was cute and he was tall… I don't know why I liked him at the time. Just his essence was enough to hypnotize me.

I just called to apologize, he accepted completely this time. We talked for a long time, which was odd, but I am crazy and I ramble, so not so odd after all. Not much happened, we didn't exactly agree to talk with each other again.

As luck would have it, he was in my biology class. We were destined to go on a field trip to a local college and learn how to be better scientists. I was having a good time in the classes, it was a lot of fun. I even met up with my cousin, who lives up there, for lunch. The last class after lunch offered more problems than I asked for.

I was in the class with one of my friends. We went right up to the front, it was a lot of fun. And then he showed up. He showed up late, but he still managed to sit right next to me; to my immediate right. "Are you stalking me," I ask jokingly looking into his liquid topaz eyes. There I go again, flirting like I was born to do it.

Nothing happened though. I didn't have to worry about anything just yet. But the laboratory awards ceremony was coming up. I went and got my seat, but some how it happened that I was sitting next to him again. My friend was somewhere in the row behind us. She saw me flirt. I don't know why I always do it. I have no self control.

On the bus ride back, she was upset. I knew it. I don't know what to do. Like I said again, I have very little self control. I asked her, "Do you like Edward? Ok then, I'll try to stay away from him then." It was hard. I liked him too. But I finally had a friend in this tiny town, I wasn't going to give her up yet.

I lasted maybe a few days. I called him again. We were supposed to go out on Saturday night. But he called me sometime during the morning and said he couldn't make it. No big deal. I barely knew him; it was not going to affect my social life if I didn't have much planned to do anyway. I have friends. When I got home, I decided to take a nap. Then he called again to apologize. He woke me up. I don't care that he can't make it. Rain check on our date? Ok. Later. But he kept talking to me, and I was still in my half sleep state. He made fun of me, but I didn't care. "You are wasting your life," I remembered his sweet melodic voice saying.

But my friend still had feelings for him, and it's the golden rule that friends are not allowed to date someone they have a crush on. I seem to be breaking the rule now. It would be the second time. God, I'm such a bad friend.

We begin talking a little bit more. It's nice. He's very interesting. He likes me. I have a crush on him. I haven't told my best friend. However, we have a mutual friend, and she has been watching me. I tell her everything. She understands. She has been urging me to tell the Best, but how could I? It would hurt her feelings, but what I was doing was hurting her too.

I finally told her, and she didn't like it, so I decided that friends were more important and that I would break it off with him. I sighed, I just met a guy that seems interested in me, and now I have to walk away from him. Well, not just any guy, I have to walk away from Edward Cullen.


End file.
